


Beam Me Down

by ChildofPersephone



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M, mentions of Tarsus IV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-19
Updated: 2014-01-08
Packaged: 2017-12-29 20:16:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1009624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChildofPersephone/pseuds/ChildofPersephone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim Kirk has had enough. He's decided that running before facing the turmoil his feelings about a certain First Officer of his would be the best route. Enter the Tarsus Nine. They're family before anything, they'd come to the others rescue, no questions asked. Whats going to happen? Will Jim ever come back? Will Spock hunt him down?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Give me just one more minute, a minutes enough, just beam me up

I can't help but think there’s a completely different conversation going on between us, the feelings I have for you, could the other Spock understand...?  Maybe in another universe, we're having this same conversation, but it’s going so very differently.  I lift my tear streaked face to your impassive one, going on tiptoe as I rest my hands on your shoulders.  This would be the last kiss I give him.

 

In that other universe, my heart isn't breaking and my body isn't aching from the battering it had just been through.  I knew that as soon as I walked away and out that door, Uhura would be waiting for you.  She'd never known what was between us, now she never would, not that there was ever anything of true importance.  At least not to you.  I just wish you'd give me a minute, let me think of what to say, I can't let this end in such disgrace.  But... This is the end, I'm leaving the _Enterprise_.  You're gonna be her Captain from now on, not that you know that yet.  No one aside from Number One, who was Pike’s widow, and the remaining Admirals knew what I'd done.  What I'd chosen.  I think they just chose to believe that I needed the time away, that they hadn’t put a black mark in my record, saying that it was medically advisable after what I’d gone through.

 

I can just see Spock Prime and Kirk, here I can't help but smile bitterly, me old? Dancing here in these same quarters, the stars their only light as they swayed to a waltz only they could hear.  I glance up at you as I land flat on my feet once more, the tears pooling in my eyes, only to catch you looking at me.  I shrug and step away.  There’s nothing to be said.

 

"Guess this is good-bye Spock..." I sighed out as I walked to the doors of the half-Vulcans quarters.  I hardly spared a glance around, I knew this room like the back of my hand, I'd spent as many hours there as I had in my own or on the Bridge.  I was just so very tired of being a fighter.    There wasn't much he could do anymore, Spock had made his choice long before they had ever met, or even known of their connection as t'hy'la.  Not that it mattered.  Spock was choosing to ignore it and damn the consequences of them, him, suffering.

 

Spock said nothing as he reached the door, it hissing open as he did so.  The cool air from the corridor sparing him the almost oppressive heat of his now ex-First Officers room.  Again, not that anyone knew that.  It would come as a shock tomorrow when the announcement was made.  I'd also been right, Uhura was in the corridor waiting to talk to her boyfriend.  I could hardly begrudge her, or him the happiness.  Not that he'd have it for long if what I knew of t'hy'la was correct.

 

I shrugged and let her pass me by.  My things had slowly been squirreled away over the last few weeks.  The _Enterprise_ was grounded for now, undergoing some repairs.  I guess that was the hazard of being the flagship for the Federation.  We were sent into the most dangerous and downright unusual situations.  I'd miss those.  But... I was doing what was best for me.  I'd disappear into the unknown, and be forgotten.  Maybe I'd reconnect with a few others of the Tarsus Nine. 

 

That brought a smile to my face as I wandered the halls and corridors of the _Enterprise_ letting my hands trail along her pristine beauty.  This was my farewell to the leading lady in my life, the one who had taken me where no other could, the one who had never failed me.  Everyone... Everyone left me at some point, whether because they realized just what a failure I was, or to the darkness that was death.  Bones should have just left me dead.  Maybe then I wouldn't be in this situation.  No wait, I still would be, I'd still be in love with my First Officer.  Who was not only half-Vulcan, but was currently in a committed and quite serious relationship with my Communications Officer.  Both of whom were part of the Command Crew.

 

In my wanderings, I came to the transporter room.  Seeing it was Scotty on duty, I waved at him before stepping on the pad.  He looked at me questioningly, while I just smiled at him softly.  "One to beam down to Earth, Scotty."  He smiled back at me, out of all of them, he was the one who suspected anything was up.  Only him, I was surprised Bones hadn't figured anything out yet.  But he would.  Then there would be hell to pay.  Thankfully, I'd already be gone, long gone.  Even if the entire Bridge Crew put their formidable minds to the task of finding me, they wouldn't.  Not unless I slipped up or I let them find me.

 

Before he finished the process, he looked me in the eye and said, "This isn't good-bye Cap'n.  We'll be seeing ye, this is just...  A reprieve for ye.  I'll try and keep 'er in good c'ndition fer ye."  His Scottish accent grew heavier as he spoke, showing just how upset he was as the best Captain, the only Captain he wanted to serve under was leaving.  Leaving without saying a word to anyone else.  I loved how he wasn't calling me all kinds of coward.  I deserved it, after all, I was running from my problems, rather than facing them.

  
All I could do was nod at Scotty.  With that he finished punching in the sequence, sending my bodily particles to earth. Where I was met with a hug and whispers of "We love you, always JT."  Pulling away, I laughed until I had tears running down my cheeks and dripping from my chin.  It was Kevin, Kev to me and all the rest of the Tarsus Nine.  The kids I'd loved and rescued.  Taught and protected.  This was my true family, and here I'd thought I'd made one on the _Enterprise_ with the Command Crew.  But god, this was my family, right here.  Number One had apparently called them to meet him, even arranging for a few to travel from other planets to be here.    
  
Speaking of her... There she was, leaning against the wall with a smirk and a small wave of her fingers as she slipped away.  The bastard had known what I'd needed.  She was almost as psychic as Bones was someday’s, even as psychically null as they both were.  I sobbed out a laugh once more as I was enveloped from all sides by those I loved and who loved me in return.

 

"C'mon JT, let’s get you some food and then we're off on our own adventure, just us again! We'll be your crew, and you our Captain.  Almost like old times, only now..." Here Kev grinned, "We'll be able to _protect you too!"_ Now if only the ache where the Command Crew, Spock especially, resided would only ease...  As I would discover, the ache only got worse, but we'll get to that in time.

 

Even with the hole where the Command Crew resided, I couldn't help the almost painful thud my heart gave, I'd miss the _Enterprise,_ the pain of losing her mimicking the ache of a missing limb.  But with these people, these foolish, darling, brave people I'd called family from the moment I'd saved them, I'd become whole once more.  Or at least I'd try.  As whole as the gaping spot where a certain half-Vulcan First Officer turned Captain as of... Now, as I glanced at the time showed, should be, I shrugged letting my family tug me to and fro as we meandered from the room.  I doubted that Spock or any of the crew would be down anytime soon, they'd be too busy searching the _Enterprise_ for me, hoping that it was all just some horrible misplaced joke that I was playing.  But this time, the joke was on them, because it was all truth.

 

As Jim Kirk left the _Enterprise,_ a completely different conversation was going on in Spock's quarters.  He was effectively ending Uhura's and his relationship.  He couldn't continue on with it, even if his feelings for her had been strong enough, he couldn't forget the wounded eyes of his t'hy'la, thus it was only _logical_ to end things and try and fix them with Jim.

 

All he could think of was Jim.  His heart was crying out, Jim, Jim, _Jim_!  How he wished he could feel his t'hy'la's smooth skin beneath his fingertips, blue eyes wide with delight as his lips were parted in pleasure.  He couldn't believe he hadn't asked just for that one minute, one more minute to look at him, the beauty of him.  How he wished, as illogical as it was, that he had disregarded Uhura and her presence outside his quarters and taken him into his arms and kissed him senseless.

 

The few times they had melded... Jim Kirk's mind... It was brilliant!  It of course had its shadows, memories tinged darker than others.  Those he hadn't had the heart or will to ask to explore.  He had hoped that at some point Jim would allow him without having to ask.  But... What had he meant by 'this is good-bye?'  Pondering it would be illogical.  After all, it would be quicker and more efficient to just ask his Captain.

  
"Nyota..." He paused to regain his train of thought, thoughts of Jim having driven him to distraction, "I believe it would now be time to terminate our relationship.  Neither of us has been truly involved in its advancement in quite some time.  I do not want to ruin our friendship, nor our working relationship."  Uhura just gazed at him, her eyes portraying the hurt and betrayal she felt.  But she couldn't disagree.  She too had felt the distance between them growing, she couldn't deny it, so she would let this go.

  
"I agree.  So I'll leave you now."  With that, she was gone with an almost silent hiss of the door and cool air floating behind her, heating almost as soon as the door shut, the light of the corridor gone.  It was time for him to meditate, then he would find his wayward t'hy'la. Not that he knew it would be much harder to find him than was originally thought.

 

He knew that the Command Crew were  t'hy'lara.  They were his family, lifelong friends bound by more than just what blood could bring.  They'd been bound by blood and fire, along with the loss of the man who had brought them all together and had shown them that they were worth something.  Now it was their turn to show him that he was worth something, more than just something, he was the man they all worshipped as if he had created the universe itself.  Illogical as it was, he too worshipped Jim Kirk and the air he breathed, the words he spoke... They were intoxicating to him.  Just being in his presence was enough to bring him to a semi state of arousal, not enough to be noticeable by another, but enough to almost drive him to distraction.  He couldn't bear to think of how his father had dealt with this, let alone when she died. 

 

He decided that before he sought out his t'hy'la, he would meditate, so with slow methodical movements he lit the incense that reminded him so much of home, before the destruction of his world and the death of his mother.  The candles added another layer of scent, as he closed his eyes and sank to the floor, his heart and mind were consumed with not just Jim, but his mother.  How she had always been there for him, even as he pushed her away as he tried to be a **true** Vulcan, something he never would or could be.  He was after all, only half-Vulcan.

 

As he drifted in the darkness of meditation, he felt himself drawn to the golden threads in the back of his mind.  It was there he found James Tiberius Kirk.  He stroked those strands, letting his love echo through their bond, this was what was keeping him sane.  His beloved, brother and hopefully lover, they were one and the same, there was no telling those three emotions, positions apart. 

 

As he stroked those strands, he felt more than heard Jim, their bond wasn't old enough or established enough for either of them to hear the other quite yet, let alone feel the other, and their emotions? Definitely.  He felt that he'd left, the remorse, the grief, the anger, the loss and the abandonment that Jim felt.  As he felt it, he tore himself from the meditative state he'd been in, seeing that the incense had burned itself out and the candles were fluttering dangerously close to extinguishing themselves.

 

Where was Jim?  Why was he allowing him to feel these emotions, when before even at the merest touch, all he would be allowed to feel was a brief warmth before he locked down on his end of the bond.  Which was something he'd wondered about, where had Jim learned to do so?  From what he knew, Jim was a psychic null, unless... Unless Jim Kirk being Jim Kirk managed to fool the test... Or hack it as the case may have been.

 

As if Jim had just realized what he was doing, the connection abruptly cut off, his senses going dark before he came back to himself.  Spock let out a groan of agony before catching himself.  Rolling to his feet, ignoring the fact that he was in his meditation robes, he barreled through the _Enterprise_ to the turbolift where he commanded it to take him to the Bridge.  Once there, he looked at the Command Crew.  All except for Jim.  Even Scotty was there, as if he’d been expecting him to show up and… Wait… Expecting him?  He knew he was reacting and thinking illogically, yet…  What else was he supposed to do now that his t’hy’la was gone…? 

 

“Where is the Captain?”  
  
“We don’t know sir.” Came the trickled response, from all but Scotty.  He looked like a deer caught in headlights, or almost… Like a sehlat who’d been caught.  “What about you Commander Scott?”  
  
“ ’E beamed down nigh on an hour ago.  Ta where… Ah c’n tell ya, but Ah c’n’t say ‘e’d still be there.”  
  
At the glares being thrown his way and the patient (so he thought) façade of the now Acting Captain, he shuddered putting up his hands in a warding gesture.  Not that any of them would actually harm him, but still, there was always the off chance that Uhura would give into temptation… Or Spock for that matter.  He _was_ there when the half-Vulcan had tried to kill Jim.  “ ‘E beamed down ta the Admirals home.  Not that it helps much seein’ as the man’s dead now…  Damn shame that…” His explanation ended in mumbles.

With that, the bridge dissolved into chaos, even as Jim Kirk was surrounded by another family, those who knew him before things went to hell…. At least for a second and third time in his life.  The bonds he held with these eight others…  They were as strong as the _Enterprise_.

 

I was buried in pile of limbs, my deep even breathing the only sign I was still alive.  Somehow, we’d all managed to cram themselves into and on one bed.  In the Captains quarters of this vessel.  It shouldn’t have surprised me, it was the way we’d slept as we’d tried to avoid capture by Kodos and his minions, the brainwashed four-thousand who had believed what he’d said, that only half of them were worth saving.  Yes, I was one of the _chosen_ but, my friends weren’t.  I’d known something was wrong the moment I’d followed my best-friends parents into the square.  Kodos hadn’t bothered to make sure that none of his _chosen_ were there on accident. 

As I struggled to wake up, I sighed into the heat of the body next to me, our arms and legs entwined, even as the scent of the previous night’s arousal sunk into my nasal passages.  I could feel himself beginning to harden, it didn’t matter that none of them were Spock, none of them were his crew on the _Enterprise_ either.  Hell, this wasn’t the first time they’d had an orgy together.  It almost always happened anytime they reunited.  It was what happened when you not only survive a famine and a slaughter, a way to reaffirm that they were all alive, all there, it was them having gone through puberty together.  Perhaps in different stages, but still.

He almost felt guilty for reveling in the afterglow that they’d all indulged in.  Hands and lips wandering, it didn’t matter who it was, where they were touching, all that mattered was the here and now.  It’s how it had always been for them, well, actually once they’d reunited after being separated after their rescue.  Once they were old enough to all understand what was happening.  I’d managed to find a few of the younger ones and once I’d done that, we all slept together, they weren’t old enough at the time to indulge in what had taken place the night before.

 

I’m sure that Spock probably got a good dose of the pleasure I’d felt, the revelry I’d partaken in.  Not in just the pleasure brought to myself, but in the giving of it, returning the multiple orgasms the best I could with nine of us in the same bed.  I could remember penetrating the youngest, her pleasure rocketing through me as I was fucked from behind, our mutual pleasure tenfold.  Grumbling, I couldn’t even flop back into the bed, my spot was already commandeered, the brats!  I sighed and tried to slowly and carefully make my way out of the bed.  I managed it, barely, but I did it.  There were a few grumbles and groans, with one or two “Jim, come back to bed!”  All of which I ignored.  Walking naked to the observation deck, I curled up in one of the chairs, watching as the stars sailed past us.

 

It was there that he let the link between his and Spock’s minds, he could feel his bondmates emotions, the grief and betrayal, he knew without a doubt his barriers had fallen when they had all fallen into bed.  It was hit fault that Spock was hurting, however, he wasn’t going to let the guilt eat him alive, Spock was with Uhura.  Last he knew they were perfectly happy, even if Spock knew that he didn’t belong with or to her.  It wasn’t fair.  It really truly wasn’t.


	2. Been through the valley of the lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's been caught, there's too much pleasure to be found... What will happen? Will he get his comeuppance for running away...?

I tossed my head back, enjoying my crew’s pleasure at exploring Federation space. Besides me, only Kev and Tommy had ever left earth after what had happened. It had been… Interesting teaching the other six what needed to be done on space faring vessel. I couldn’t help but enjoy every second of it, if I hadn’t become a Captain, I’d have loved to be a teacher. Not something most people would think about me, after all, I’m dangerously addicted to adrenaline and danger, enough so that I’ve already died because of it once and come perilously close a million other times.

Sighing at the ease of which they’d settled into the life he’d chosen, I let my head fall back against the chair I was slumped in. If Bones were here, I’d be getting chewed out about how my posture would affect me as I got older, but… I ignored the pang the thought of my best-friend sent through my heart. The bond between Spock and I stretched so thin it almost wasn’t worth thinking about, it was dangerously close to breaking. I hadn’t realized that putting so much distance between us would do that, considering the pre-marital bond he and T’Pring had shared… Maybe it wasn’t the fact of physical distance, but… My having put so much mental distance. I also knew from having talked to the Ambassador that Spock and T’Pring had mutual barriers between them, allowing them to have other relations, without affecting the other. So I was a bit confused as to what was going on. I knew Spock wasn’t hurt… And I knew for a fact it wasn’t me. 

I was distracted from my train of thought by two sets of arms sliding around my shoulders and neck, rolling my head, I looked up into the grinning faces of Kev and Tommy. My two boys, my insatiable silly boys, who always knew just when I needed them to distract me. Yes, all of us occasionally had sex together, but we all had our ‘partner’ of choice. Mine obviously were Kev and Tommy, if I wasn’t with them, it was the two of them by themselves…. Which was hot, let me tell you! Tommy crème and mocha, eyes such a brilliant hazel that they shone gold some days… Ah god and Kev! He wasn’t slight and delicate like when we were kids, just barely through puberty, the three of us. He was my height now, hair hitting his shoulders in ringlets as tight as any man I’d ever known.

The three of us… I laughed, we’d been known to stop crowds when we hit the bars together. Smirking, I let a thought percolate, seeing the wicked gleam in my eyes, the two rascals leaned down and kissed either cheek. Letting his breath whisper across my ear, watching as I shuddered, Tommy whispered, “We have an audience…” Slivering one of my closed eyes open, I glared up at the imps, “Who…? Better yet, I don’t care. I have an idea.”

Glancing at each other, they both shrugged. Not like it was any skin off their back if their audience got an eye full. They’d figured out who was following them awhile back, especially when their watchers had stopped when Jim stopped. He’d been sitting at the café for a while, just enjoying the sun and being able to relax. 

“So what’s your plan oh fearless one?”

Jim let loose with a laugh, it was the name he’d been given on the ship after they’d been rescued, as long as it had taken to get back to Earth and all of that… They’d had a lot of time to cause mischief and destroy things. Motioning for the brats to sit down, I waited until they were settled before I started, “Well… Seeing as the three of us are known for stopping groups… I was thinking that the nine of us should head out to the clubs tonight, we haven’t had enough fun time, we’ve all been working through our issues… And teaching each other the mechanics of running a ship.” At the looks the other two were giving him, he gave a slightly sheepish smile and amended, “Okay, us teaching them how to run a ship. I love them dearly… Even better yet, I loved teaching them, such brilliance! It’s been so long since I’ve had an opportunity to teach… I missed that, I didn’t think there was anything I missed or could miss about Tarsus.”

Tommy and Kev shared another look, they knew exactly what I was talking about. They were two of the ones I’d taken aside and tutored while there were others I’d just taught, some of them music, others whatever they’d asked, so long as I knew. Then… There were one or two who I had taught myself things just so I could teach them. Kev was the one who reached out to me this time, I’d never spoken to any of the psychologist’s that I had been sent to after I’d been returned to Iowa, let alone anyone else about what had happened. The fact I was now beginning to open up… Even to those who had been through the same horrors I had been… Or perhaps, most of the same horrors. There were just something’s I had never let them partake in, including coming with me to scavenge for food.

I’d had to do so many horrible, degrading things, I didn’t want them to have to do the same. I was the protector, the one who would do anything for them. Guess I knew when my self-sacrificing tendencies began, I’m not even sure if it was because I knew what my father did, or if it was just me being me. My Mother sure as hell never gave me any indication that I was worth much in her eyes, all I was… Was just a reminder that my father was dead, dead and long gone. Sam, my brother… Well I was just the one he wanted to hate but couldn’t. In the end, he left, abandoning me to the fate of living with my, our, stepfather. Abusive asshole that he was. Which was why I’d been sent to Tarsus in the first place… Feeling Kev wind his fingers with mine, I came back to the present. I saw the look in his eyes, the sorrow, the pain that neither of them could truly fix the past, let alone ease the pain I felt of losing the Enterprise.

“Lets focus on the fun we can have… And our watcher… Can’t forget them.”

“Of course! Now…” Here they bent to the task of finding which clubs they wanted to go to, seeing as they didn’t want to cause trouble, just have fun. Thus their watcher learned more about his Captain than he’d ever known before, despite all the time they had spent together, the love that had been forming between them. The love his actions had almost ruined, the bond they had formed… Useless until the moment they gave in and felt.

Spock had happened upon them just by chance. He had been talked into shore leave by the rest of the Command Crew, including Commander Scott, who Uhura had threatened with castration if he didn’t go and leave behind Engineering just for this once in a blue moon. Which made no sense to him, just another of those Human idioms that didn’t make sense. He gave an approximation of what in any other being would be considered a shrug, just a barely there then gone lift of his shoulders. Two dark heads barely level with another head, this one the color of cornfields in Iowa…. His home state, the place where he was raised. Why was he here? The last they’d heard… The Admirality had forced him to take a break, away from everyone and everything. In fact, he’d talked to Number One, she’d been the one who had taken care of all the arrangements for his t’hy’la. He hadn’t even been aware that the two had known each other, but in fact they had known each other for as long as Jim had been at the Academy. Pike had introduced them… With a barely there narrowing of his eyes, he focused on the men in front of him. 

Watching as the three of them separated and went their own ways, observing as Jim ordered coffee and sat there just… Doing nothing, not being the normal hyperactive should have been child he was whenever on the Enterprise. This was… Different, it actually reminded him of when they would sit and play chess together. The Captain would get this look… It was a look of intense concentration and wicked glee, as if he knew what consternation he caused his second in command. But this look, while similar was not the same. He watched as it morphed when the two men joined him once more. The adoration he aimed at both of them, the unfiltered love and warmth that radiated through the bond to him… He felt the anger, illogical as it was rise within him.

He shoved it down, deep inside, building his barriers as high and as thick as he could. He couldn’t afford to let it affect him, not this time. He would watch and wait, the jealousy as dangerous as the anger he felt. He listened to their plans, making his own as he did so. His Captain, his Jim, his t’hy’la would be getting quite the surprise tonight.

I groaned as I stretched, I’d been sitting too long. Glancing around, I tried to catch a glimpse of the follower that my two imps had said they had spotted. It really could have just been an accident, someone who had headed in the same direction as them and who had decided to shop or something near there. Hell, it could be one of the natives to the planet! They looked remarkably like Vulcans, but I knew they weren’t, thankfully, they weren’t touch telepaths either. That would have been hell.

In that instant, even though I was no longer on the Enterprise surrounded by memories of Spock Prime every which way I turned, I was still being haunted by him and that other, better James Kirk. I could see Spock Prime sitting across from me, his features as young as mine as he, no they, sat there sipping coffee and chatting about mundane things, the look in his eyes… Invisible to most, but never to me, never to his James… They smoldered with hidden passion, a possessiveness that rivaled none other. I still wished that my Spock had wanted me that much, hadn’t denied me, us, our bond as t’hy’la. I knew that with the bond as weak and close to breaking as it was… It wouldn’t take long for both of us to feel the consequences.

I can’t help the small, sad smile that crosses my face. There has been no recorded history of either party surviving the breaking of the bond, but in the end it was Spock’s choice, mine as well, for not fighting for him. How could I? Uhura and he had been together since the academy. It would have just been cruel of me to take him away. She truly did love him… Deserved him even. I didn’t envy her having to inform her family of their relationship though, from what I’d heard, they were a very traditional family, non-accepting of interracial marriages, in some cases, xenophobic. How people like that could still exist in this day and age… I have no clue. 

Time passed, the others of their family gathered together. They spoke of their plans, dressed to the nines and bar and club hopped. The laughter was plenty, the casual touches watched almost enviously. Watching from the shadows Spock followed them, keeping in contact with Uhura who waited at the last planned club, he was to make sure they kept up with the pre-made plan to end there rather than any place else. Which it seemed they were going to.

As they approached the doors, Spock slipped further behind, allowing them entrance without his being seen. As he entered, Uhura stepped from the shadows along the wall next to the door, gently grasping his upper arm as she tugged him with her to the table she and the others had claimed as their own. He nodded a greeting to them before he, himself slipped into one of the chairs surrounding the table. In fact there was an extra one for when they were finally able to grab their Captain. As people approached trying to steal it from them, they all, including Spock (Though his was almost disguised as a look of Vulcan disinterest) gave a look that made them scatter like rain drops hitting the ground. 

“Serve’s ‘em righ’ afta all, this is the Cap’n’s chair, reserved fer whenever we catch his cap’n’ly rear-rend and make ‘im listen ta us.”  
“Yes! The Keptin is deserwing our vrath, leawing us vithout varning! Ve shall give him a thorough talking to.” Chekov added his two cents in his heavily accented voice, it didn’t matter he’d been serving on the Enterprise for several years already, he would never lose that accent. It was in some cases adorable.  
It was Uhura who caught sight of them. The nine of them that is, not just the three he had told them about, but all of them, hands wandering freely even as people stopped and stared. It was as if they knew the affect they were having on people and capitalizing on it, using it to their own advantage, the publicity a turn on. 

It was in fact as the Command Crew had been thinking a turn on. They had no fear, no inhibitions. They’d all seen each other at their best and worse, the pain and humiliation. Laughter floated on the unsaid words between them all, the pleasure they found in each other’s company was obvious as they each danced and swayed with a grace and knowledge of each other that most people could and would never achieve. 

Without realizing it, Spock had stood up and was making his way to them. Unobtrusively, he danced with his Captain, ignoring those who eyed him with trepidation for daring to interrupt what seemed to be a closed dance. At least to outsiders. They didn’t care if anyone joined them, just… Normally no one did, no one seemed to want to brave their closeness. It was almost sad really, that all they had was each other because everyone else was too scared to breach societal norms.

As Spock approached and danced with Jim, the others slowly backed away. They recognized him, they didn’t trust or like him, they’d been the ones who had been fixing and loving him for so many years, they didn’t want to give him up, let alone to someone who had so deeply hurt him. So they watched warily as the half-Vulcan ran his hands along Jim’s sides, letting them rest on his shoulders briefly before he wound his arms around his chest, one around his shoulder and the other around his middle. He then pulled him back so that he rested against his chest. They were flush, letting his Captain know that he was hard, so hard and caught between them. 

Jim had no idea who was behind him, it wasn’t any of his kids, not even Tommy and Kev were this bold with him. Even with his psychic awareness, Jim had no idea who it was, there were too many people here. He frowned, then shrugged as much as he could with the other person holding on to him, before letting the music take him away again. He’d never had any qualms about who or what he’d fuck. There was no point to it. 

So they stood there swaying to the beat of the music, the bass thundering around them. It was then Jim turned, eyes closed as he stood on tip toe, letting his lips do the speaking as they ghosted over sharp cheek bones, a proud nose and finally to lips that had been waiting for their t’hy’la. As Jim’s lips connected with Spock’s, their bond shone brilliantly as it healed itself. All it needed was a reaffirmation of the feelings both had for the other, it was enough to snap Jim out of his music and alcohol induced haze. 

I was now eye to nose with a skin tone I’d recognize anywhere. It wasn’t just some random bloke either, of course not, it had to be his luck… It was a goddam Vulcan, or Romulan. It didn’t matter which, they were descended from the same planet. Different beliefs that was it. Just different beliefs. Stepping away, or so I tried, I was being clung to even more. Then I was hit with a voice I’d only heard in my dreams and hallucinations recently.

“Jim…” Spock was pleading, his voice threaded through with panic at the thought of my leaving. Or at least that’s what I thought. It was hard to tell, Spock so rarely let loose his grip on his emotions. Especially in my presence. So I looked up at him as I took one, two more steps away from him, letting him keep his hands resting on my shoulders.   
“Spock. What are you doing here?”

Bones jumped in from beside us, “Shore leave. It was just pure dumb luck that Spock caught sight of you… He’s missed the living hell out of you kid.” With that I eyed Bones then Spock and realizing that they couldn’t, wouldn’t be the only ones from my crew who were there, I groaned as I saw the murderous look on Uhura’s face. I could feel it deep in my bones, now that I’d been not only found, but acknowledged them, I was in for it.

Looking around and motioning for my kids to follow, I spoke to my Command Crew, “Well come one. I’m not doing this here. And we’re not doing this on the Enterprise either. I’d rather leave my ship unsullied of what’s gonna happen.”

The kids surrounded me as we walked, with Tommy and Kev closest to me. I shuddered as I felt Spock’s anger and jealousy, seems like having our bond reaffirmed or whatever it was that had happened had made it stronger, tearing down the barriers we, or at least I had placed between us. Feeling the shudder, my imps drew closer, slinging their arms about my shoulders and waist, ignoring the looks my Bridge Crew was throwing their, our way.

Rolling my eyes, I pulled away from both of them and darted forward. Spinning around so that I was jogging backwards, I smirked at all of them, my kids and my Bridge Crew. “Well kids, catch me if you can!” And with that I was off. I was speeding past people at a pace I hadn’t allowed myself in so long, too long. Only the kids had ever seen me move at this pace. It was the pace I’d enjoyed until Kodos had happened.

Unsurprisingly, it was Spock who caught up to me, but instead of catching me, he just ran with me, enjoying just us. Laughing, I stopped, looking back at my kids and crew. None of them were even attempting to catch me, so I shared a long look with Spock, holding out two of my fingers, knowing and allowing him to kiss me. From what I’d seen… He and Uhura were no longer together. When… How it happened, that didn’t matter, not at the moment, what mattered was that he had come for me. It may have been an accident of fate, but he had followed, he had planned on bringing me home to the Enterprise.

Soon, the other had caught up to us. It was almost surprising how quickly they did so, but it didn’t slow down my racing mind. My heart was beating so hard, I was surprised it hadn’t burst out of my chest yet. Smiling I slung my arms around the two closest to me, Martina, Marti for short and Rivka. Oh my beautiful kids! Ignoring the looks of the crew, I drew the two girls to me and cuddled them for a moment before I released them and stepped up to my ship. It was on that could be docked planet side or in the depths of space. It was one I had personally built and given to Pike and Number One for safe keeping. When I had needed to run and hide so that I could fix myself… Well, Number One had insisted I take it.

“Come along into our humble abode!” I proclaimed, spreading my arms wide as I stood on the ramp leading inside. Motioning the kids by first, I allowed the crew to follow before I did so, slapping the button to raise the ramp as I did so.

Laughing I walked into the galley, my crew was standing there looking shell shocked. Between the nine of us, we had decorated the decently large space, pictures of all of us growing up, pictures of us at reunions we had managed to attend over the years. Some were holos, others weren’t. The ones that weren’t were highly coveted. Mementos that were galley appropriate hung in various spots. I know my eyes gleamed with pride, after all, I had built this ship with my own two hands, my family surrounding me… Both sets.

“Well, now that you’re done ogling my ship…” I let the teasing words out almost without thinking. Then I shrugged, it wasn’t as if they expected anything different from me. I was pretty much the same man as before, just… Brought back from the dead and all that shit.

“Jim…” Bones started, and before he could finish I was interrupting, “They know. How could I keep it from them? I’ve known then for over a decade Bones, they won’t tell anyone. They’re… My family.”

Uhura let out and undignified noise at that, spitting out through clenched teeth, “They looked like more than family, Captain.”  
Tommy stepped in then, his smooth crème and mocha features hard and unyielding, covering the scars that had long been faded, “Don’t speak to JT that way. He doesn’t deserve it! He’s always been there for us, sorry if sometimes it’s led to sex. Actually no, I won’t apologize. We went through hell together, he’s our savior, there isn’t anything we won’t do for him. Including leaving our other friends and family behind to hide in space for six months.”  
Uhura stared in shock at being dealt with so harshly while I gave Kev and Tommy and appraising look. It was a look that said I hadn’t expected that from the two of them but I should have. I’d always done it for them. It was only fair for them to do the same.

“Okay guys, calm the fuck down and sit. I won’t have this conversation like this. Better yet kids, scatter!” They did as they were told, even if Kev and Tommy gave me long considering looks before they did so. It wasn’t my fault that my crew had shown up and that I couldn’t, wouldn’t deny them this chance to set things right. I missed the Enterprise… And her crew.

“Why’d you tell them, who are they, have you had sex with all of them?” Bones demanded, not daring to take a breath between questions for fear that Jim would disappear once more.

“I told them because I’ve known them since Tarsus. They’re my kids. No! Ack! Get that thought out of your minds! Ew! No!” I shuddered, I’d have to remember to rebuild my mental shields, having been spoiled by my kids the last six months, I’d hardly bothered to keep those shields in place. It wasn’t as if they would keep anything from me. “Yes I’ve had sex with all of them, and all of them with each other… It’s how it’s always been.” I shrugged. Then shuddered again, glaring at Bones. “Okay, seriously mind out of the gutter. I didn’t need that image.”

Spock looked at me with a look on his face, before, “You’re telepathic aren’t you?” I shrugged then spread my hands in a what the hell gesture. It’s not like it wasn’t going to come out eventually.

“I am. And yes Bones, I did hack my results. You really think I wanted people to know what I was capable of? People have always, always under estimated me. Including the bastard Kodos.” It was then that they all realized what he’d been implying and telling them, he and all the others on board this ship had been on Tarsus IV. How could they have been so blind?

“Keptin…” Whispered Chekov, his voice filled with sorrow and the hint of tears. I looked at him, anger just barely flickering at the edges of my face. It wasn’t Chekov’s fault, I could see no pity, just hurt that he hadn’t known, couldn’t have known, so I let go of the useless anger. There was no point in it, all it would do would hurt those I cared about.

“Look, I’ve got room on the ship. Lets all get some sleep and talk about this later?” With hardly a word spoken between them, they all nodded. I pulled Spock up from the table and leaned into his ear, “You’re with me Mister Spock.” He nodded, letting out a barely audible sigh, as if he’d been expecting to be rebuffed.

“C’mon guys, I’ll show you where you’ll be bunking.”

“Won’t your ‘kids’ mind?”

“Nope, ‘cuz they’re all bunking together anyhow, I’ve got extra rooms for a night.”

“How do you know they’re bunking together…?”

“They’re all in pairs,” I smirked seeing the looks on their faces, before continuing, “Yes, we have orgies, yes I have had sex with them, but they’re all happily involved in their own individual couples. Tommy and Kev for example… They’re together. I just… Join on occasion. I’m the odd one out being the oldest and the one who was… Father, brother, protector, and everything else you can imagine. Even if Kev and Tommy are closest to me in age. I carried Kev for miles upon miles as we ran from Kodos and his men. They’d killed over half of the population in one fell swoop…” I shrugged. “Anyway, here you are Bones, Uhura… Scotty, you two will be in the one right next to his, Chekov, Sulu, you two boys will be sharing, this one right here, across from Uhura and Scotty.” As I turned to walk away with Spock, Chekov braved asking a question, “Vhere is Mister Spock, er, Keptin Spock sleeping…?”

Just as I spoke, Spock spoke as well, both of us saying “I am not Captain, that honor belongs to Jim.”

“He’s with me of course. There are some things we need to talk about, without you guys. Not that I don’t love you, but…” I looked at them once more before spinning on my heel and walking to my quarters. Spock on my heels, close enough I could feel the heat of his body.


	3. The Great Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunions, chats, what is this, Uhura, Scotty and Bones in a relationship?! When did this happen?!
> 
> And yes, this is all written to P!nks album 'The Truth About Love'

As Spock and I walked away, I noticed the furtive glances his former bridge crew exchanged behind his back. Including how instead of going into his own room, Bones followed like a puppy behind Uhura with Scotty not too far behind, his eyes tracking both of their forms with barely disguised hunger. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from breaking out in hysterical laughter. So it was definitely obvious that Uhura and Spock weren’t together anymore. I’d have to take that as a positive sign for our relationship. Not that there was one currently, but if what I’d felt at the club was any indication… Well… That could very well be changing here shortly.

Once we were in my quarters, the hushed hum of the ship brought the silence between them to the fore. I looked up at Spock from where I’d collapsed in the chair that was sitting at my desk. My quarters were by far the largest. As often as we all ended up piling into my bed however, it didn’t really matter. However… It was about to change. I was about to (Hopefully at least) gain the one person in the universe, no, make that the multiverse, who I’d ever truly wanted beyond life and death.

“Have you ever listened to an old Terran artist Pink?”

Spock tilted his head, the only sign of confusion he showed. “No..?” His former first officer offered tentatively. Laughing, I leaned forward in my seat, ordering the computer to play one of her albums as I did do, “Computer, play Pink, album Truth About Love, song Beam Me Up, followed by the rest of the album.”

As soon as I’d finished the order, Pink was playing softly in my quarters, her voice throatily crooning about how things would be different in another universe, just asking for one more minute, even if only to say good-bye. I motioned for Spock to take a seat. After all, if we were going to chat, we’d do in comfort and I damned well knew that my furniture was comfortable.

"So... Now that you've found me, whatcha gonna do 'bout it?" 

Spock just looked at me. It wasn't a wholly pleasant look either. It was as if he knew every little thing I'd done in the recent months... Which shouldn't have surprised me, apparently I hadn't blocked the bond fully. He must have gotten bleed over from when I'd fooled around with my kids. Which sounded wrong, but damn it... There wasn't really another way to say it, we weren't just friends, we were a family, but... I'd helped raise most of them... Gah! This was just awkward! 

Leaning forward, I just sighed and looked back at him. "Meld with me, let me show you..." It came out as a whisper, the only way for me to explain to him, was to show him. There was nothing else to be done, words in this instance were inadequate.

With no other words exchanged, Spock leaned forward, murmuring the ritual words under his breath, even as they weren't needed. As he finished, they were sucked into his mind. Brilliant and blinding, with spots as dark as the deepest space they'd traversed together.

With mental hands, Jim pulled Spock to a corner of his mind, where all he had hidden, all the pain and sorrow he had felt was piled into one big heap of darkness. Slowly, he sifted the memories into a semi-coherent line of thought, letting Spock see each one, moving on only when Spock indicated he was ready.

In flashes, Spock watched Winona Kirk in her absence, Frank wailing on a young Jim, felt his tears as his older brother Sam walked away and never came back. Being sent to Tarsus and meeting Kodos, the horrors that had been wrought by the man who professed to care for the boy-who-was-Jim. The only adult aside from his Aunt and Uncle, who Kodos had killed. His cousin decaying in front of his eyes, even as he rescued those he could. Starving himself to feed them, letting Kodos have his way, even as he turned a blind eye to what Jim was doing.

Shuddering, he pulled himself from the memories, but not from Jim's mind. He wasn't ready to let go just yet. There were still memories to go through. He would understand his t'hy'la and his mates reasoning for leaving, not just him but the Enterprise and her crew. A crew who had relied on their Captain...

Pushing through the exhaustion suddenly coursing through his body, Spock reached for the memories once more, letting himself be engulfed. He saw felt Jim meeting McCoy for the first time, saw how often the doctor had saved him, realized just how much they were willing to give up for the other, including risking a court martial, just to get Jim on-board the Enterprise during the Narada Crisis. He was thankful that the doctor had done that, he hadn't known just how they'd done it, just that they had and that Jim had suffered an allergic reaction.

He projected the feeling to Jim, feeling his reaction as if it was his own. He huffed a laugh and sent that as well, feeling an inescapable feeling of pleasure when it was returned. Next he saw himself with Uhura, realization starting to dawn even as he watched in an almost fast-forward blur of moments between the two, the feeling of wrongwrongwrong echoing between them. It should have been Jimjimjimjim, not Nyota in his arms, sharing breath and touch. 

Interrupting the stream of images, he starting to project his own, showing Jim in his own way he had known, had felt, was already terminating the relationship even as he was leaving. He could feel Jim's surprise, letting himself go and sink further into Spocks own mind. Letting their compatability show by how their minds blended and they could no longer tell whose mind was whose, memories blurring and blending, emotions... 

They pulled away almost simultaneously. Both panting even as they leaned into the other, across the small space where a coffee table sat, lips brushing in gentle motions. Love bloomed between them, the truth of what had happened no longer an issue.

"You will no longer shar your body with them. You are mine."

Jim leaned back against his seat and laughed, he laughed until tears were running down his cheeks, "No... I have no need of doing so. Not if I have you to share my bed with, after all... We're t'hy'la, imzadi. There is no one else for me, nor will there be. Imzadi... I love you. You are my first beloved. I have never allowed anyone into my mind like that, as you well know. Not many people know I'm part Betazoid either. I'm lucky I managed full maturity with everything that went wrong in my life... Sam.. Well, far as I'm aware, Sam ended up on Betazed and was in the process of being treated for a suicide attempt due to his not being trained. Don't ask me how with all the fucked up things that happened, I managed to stay sane!"

"Ashayam..." Spock looked at his t'hy'la and wondered how to explain his thoughts before just plunging ahead, "Perhaps it is because we were always destined to meet... Our minds have been linked since the first breath you took, we just never realized it until we met. After all... It makes sense does it not?"

With a sigh, Kirk nodded. It did. In a weird twisted, freakish way. After all, it was the two of them. Neither of them was normal by any definition of the word. He'd let the explanation fly and if something else came up to contradict it? He'd deal with it then.

"Now, are you coming back to the Enterprise or will we have to drag you back, kicking and screaming as the vernacular goes?" Spock queried softly, eying the blond across from him hungrily. It had been too long since he'd since him, the soft lights of the mans personal quarters highlighted his blonde hair, blue eyes even bluer than the last time he had seen him if it was possible. He was definitely darker than he had been, his freedom allowing him to touchdown on planets more often, allowing for a tan.

Smirking, Kirk waved a hand flippantly, "Yeah, yeah, I'll come back. After all, can't have my beautiful lady left alone too long, no knowing what Scotty's done to the poor girl recently!"

Quirking a brow, Spock responded with, "He hasn't modified anything recently aside from the replicators. Which he did as soon as you left."

"The replicators? Why would he do that?"

"To punish the rest of us for not noticing what you were planning when he plainly did."

"Oh."

"Yes."

With that, I stood and motioned for Spock to follow me. It was time for bed, as much as I'm sure both of us would like more, there was a time and a place for that. Neither of which was here. This was the bed I had taken my kids and they had taken me, it was a beginning and and end. The true beginning for us lay on the Enterprise. From there, we would go as ordered, living life by the seat of our pants even as our love carried us through. No more going where whim would have me, but back to the grind and monotony of Starfleet, but it was a homecoming, not a thing of sorrow. 

My other family... They needed me and my kids were alright. They'd survived without me and me without them, it was time for them to get back to their real lives, a life without having to take care of me and make sure I wouldn't fall to pieces at a moments notice, it was with these thoughts that I drifted into sleep with Spock a warm presence at my back, his arms cradling me even as our breathes evened out into slumber. Just before I let sleep take me, I called out just loud enough for the computer to shut off the lights and turn off the music, in the middle of Pink singing about the truth about love, the lyrics echoing for a second before she fully cut out and sleep took me away.

**Author's Note:**

> This entire fic was inspired by P!nks album "The Truth About Love" most especially the song 'Beam Me Up'.
> 
> Please let me know what you think of this :)


End file.
